Musings and Meandering Thoughts

There’s nothing like a solid plan. And I have a great one for my Sage Ridge series of interconnected standalones. I know my characters, their stories are practically writing themselves, and I’m excited about this series. Having just released No Sweeter Madness, I was primed and pumped to dive into Book Four.

Then I went off-script and indulged in a side quest to the tune of a 35,000-word novella.
In this industry, there are always opportunities to do more (I’m beginning to hate that word), and I’m a ‘hey, let’s do this! Oh no, what have I gotten myself into’ kind of girl.
But not this time.

This time I took a few days, considered everything I already had on my plate, and weighed it against everything this new opportunity offers.
This promotion requires me to write a brand-new novella, but it partners me with a host of fabulously talented writers and will expose my work to new readers. It also includes a membership to Prolific Works, a bonus in and of itself.
I would have been a fool to say no.

While the novella is not due until December, it made sense to write it now because it’s a second-generation spin-off from the book I just released, and the characters are fresh in my mind.
So, I jumped the curb and wrote a sweet and spicy love story about a married couple in their 40s who are hitting a couple of speedbumps on their way to HEA 2.0.

Now that it’s finished, my inner voice is screaming, “Go! Go! Go!”
What is this force compelling me forward? Passion? Joy? Adrenaline? Momentum?
It’s a heaping pile of ‘not enough.’
You’re behind.
You’re not doing enough.
You need to work faster.
Do more.
Go! Go! Go!

This constant refrain of ‘not enough’ does not fuel me. It weighs me down, depresses my mood, and takes no time at all to jump from ‘not doing enough’ to ‘not being enough’ which is a fallacy. A hoax contrived to distract me from my reason and my purpose.
And it’s currently sitting in the driver’s seat.


The only way to oust it is to take my foot off the gas. Despite the fact my entire being is taking an unholy tantrum at being side-lined, I’m prescribing a self-imposed rest and taking a long overdue emotional inventory:
How am I feeling?

Scattered and overwhelmed.
What am I doing?

Too much.
And most importantly, why?

Because my ‘not good enough’ is white-knuckling the steering wheel.

The problem for me is there’s nothing exciting about rest. No adrenaline rush. No joy in immersing myself in the story. No production-induced self-esteem boost. No satisfaction of a job well done—not that I’m feeling that by any means which tells me more than anything else it’s, you got it, time for a rest.

It’s not sexy but it’s crucial.
Rest defies ‘not enough’ and gives it the old
It allows us to reassess where we’re at, realign with our values and purpose, and refocus our energies going forward.
Best of all, it resets my emotional barometer and changes my answers to those questions:

How am I feeling?
Driven by the force of an untold story.

What am I doing?
Writing my fabulously messy love stories.

To celebrate female sexuality, encourage self-compassion, lift up sisterhood, spread empathy for mental health issues, and empower women to claim every bit of their selves.

Because sexual intimacy, true love, family, and sisterhood are my passion.

Because we deserve to be seen, celebrated, and supported.

With rest, we remember our joy, our passion, and our purpose. It is these things that fuel us.

One final question before I leave you:

What’s driving you?